Disclaimer and notes:
OH MY GOOOOOOOD! The Queen of Blueberry Toast has done it again! Where will the madness end!? Yes, folks, yet ANOTHER Gundam W fanfic from the people (OK, person and rabbits) who brought you “The Room Where the Light Won’t Find You” and “In Which Dacey Liberates the Crickets”. GASP! We don’t own anything here, not even the kit kats. And we’re still too broke to buy more doujin so obviously, not only are we NOT making any money (as if people would pay to read this) we don’t have any money period! Suing us will only make your lawyers happy.
Want to try and put a stop to this lunaticish behavior otherwise? Try TheKWOBT@hotmail.com
A little thing before we begin. I don’t know what else to call it except a thing… Anyway, to explain the second half of the title: Hey Kit Kat that is. The word “Quatre” as most of you probably know, is the French word for “four”. Technically, it is pronounced “Kat”, not “Katoru”, “Katra”, or “Kwatray”. Since no one here will be reading it out loud, I really don’t care how you say it, but just so you know THAT'S how I got "Kit Kat” out of Quatre.
And now, without further adieu, because some of you may also know I am not a “Galaxy Express 999” fan, we get on with the fic.
Somewhere around EP 30. Duo is in space. Trowa is missing. Wufei is being Wufei. Heero and Quatre are in the Sanc Kingdom, specifically, the basement where they’ve hidden the white Tauruses and Wing. It’s about five in the morning, but if you look off to your left you’ll see they’re both up already. Dressed and standing in the dimness before the dawn. Very dim. It’s raining outside. Not that you can tell down here.
Quatre sat by himself. He’d been alone for awhile no… hadn’t he? Before it was sitting by Iria’s bedside, the ticking of the seconds and the heartbeats. Knowing someone was there. They just said so. Not just readouts from the monitors and their corresponding breaths. Voices.
One moment later and only the loneliness… the empty footsteps into the void. His own body seemed to dissolve away, leaving him as disembodied as forgetfulness. Yet always that mortal prison whirling around him, now that he was aquatinted with that death. He was so afraid to die he forgot to live. He forgot anyone else lived.
Yet that voice… “But, this is how war is, and we can do nothing but accept it. And what is left, will be the soldiers' problems, as well as the problems in our hearts. For those of us, who have the perfect quality of a soldier, have been fighting because of this; and it is also due to this, that we end up thinking that one person alone can have the ability to change this era. It's not just you Quatre, we're all like that. But this kind of thinking, will end up hurting those who are kind. The kinder and more gentle you are, the more it will hurt. In our hearts, we can only rely on ourselves to fight………………..
……….Accept this era, and then change back to that gentle Quatre, please?"
He looked at his hand now. It seemed wet, the light running off of it like water. The dawn ran with the raindrops on the basement window showing a pallid, crystal grey. He was numb but that slipping sensation clung to him even when he tried to wash it away with a smile or some misplaced forthright words. No, he was not forthright or anything close.
On the foot of one of Noin’s white Tauruses that stood like stolen Grecian columns in a basement by the sea, Quatre sat by himself in the dawn and wrang his hands despite the self-conscious tickles it sent through his muscles.
He heard the other boy shift on the walkway above him. All the more reason to not talk since he was… or might as well have been… the only other person on the earth if the other one was around. /It’s just his way I guess. Guessing hurts. He wouldn’t want me to./
/I wish he’d leave or at least come down. He’s driving me mad./
/I will not do nothing in front of him./
His notebook computer for class was beside him with his books. He knew that he shouldn’t, that it would only be one more disappointment to turn and choke him. Walking purposelessly through glass would not even have been such anguish. But he had to. He just had to.
For the first time today he checked Trowa’s search file; for the first time today, and the first time since midnight where he hadn’t slept so unsettled by the heavy, wet smell of the storm.
He didn’t even sigh as he shut off the computer.
“What are you doing down here?”
Softly, for he couldn’t have forced out more, “I came here to be alone. That’s all Heero. I guess I got my wish too.”
“Never mind. You wouldn’t understand.” A pause. The wind made the drops outside strike the pane more loudly for a moment and he heard them clearly even through the open distance. “And what about you?”
“Checking on the mobile suits.”
Quatre chuckled a little without reason. “You come back to your Gundam as often as check after Trowa. He thought of adding, / “Does it remind you of your person on the earth?” / but the words never came.
“You shouldn’t log onto the system constantly like that.”
A second as he double-checked the sticker for the security encoding software. The soldier above him on the walkway, suspended in the boiling dimness just the same.. never missed a thing about his machine or Quatre. Yes, Quatre’s heart felt a quick jolt like liquid metal in his veins when he realized just this once, he hadn’t missed a thing about *him*.
“That’s not it. It isn’t safe for you.”
“Heero, forgive me, I don’t understand…”
“You’re making it worse for yourself.”
“Oh,” shyly then, he wrapped his arms about his knees as he tried to forget that one surge of empty static that had coursed through him, leftovers from that other boy, who seemed hardly a boy at all. Space hearts knew no discrimination. /That was almost kind though… what you said./ “I know there isn’t much chance he’s alive, but I just have to keep hoping. It’s the way I am… even if he’s dying by then. There’s something I have to say to him, not just the apology, because I’ll never rest well without it. Something I can’t quite put into words…”
The little blond shivered with a quiet resolution. “Then I want to bury him like a hero.”
“Trowa was no hero and you’re endangering the others.”
The line came out as coldly precise as the first time. “Trowa was no hero and…”
“How can you say that?” In their soft, stunned earnesty, the words were more breath than sound.
“There were other ways of stopping you. He died trying. Maybe that seems noble to some people, but noble is a lost cause. You’re one person and you’re worse off now trying to live up to his mistake so you can’t say it wasn’t stupid.” Heero dodged the flying laptop as simply as if he dodged a punch from a sleepy toddler, not so much as twitching as it crashed against the wall in a burst of slick wire and sparks.
“So if I had died instead you wouldn’t have blinked! You would have killed me if… if he hadn’t… he’s a hero and your words alone don’t make that any different! I didn’t want to die! He’s never let me down and I just wouldn’t be here without him! He’s a hero to me! Can’t that mean anything?”
“You’re so selfish.”
“Damnit Heero I’m human!”
“You’re supposed to be a soldier.”
“Do you think I should go through this war like I’m not involved and I’ve got no one to care about!? That’s why I’m here! You can’t fight if you don’t love because then you have nothing to fight for. Even if he is gone now… that’s all I’ve got and you don’t care! You just don’t care!”
“What’s wrong with your eyes?”
At last he screamed despite so many days of holding it back. “You’re completely heartless!” The rain quickened, his footsteps knocked out of step with it’s soft drumming. “And you’re better off alone. Fine. Don’t come back today. See if I care!”
[Trowa’s Speech from Subtle Hints courtesy of Mer-chan.]
Go to End Transmission (1)
Go to Hey Kit Kat (1)